Take me below the water line
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How are you reenacting your child? How are you reacting? I need to break. Yeah, it does. It makes sense because even if I have gotten to the point where I forgive the other child that was involved, or I forgive my parents for not protecting me, or I forgive myself for allowing that and entering to poor choices as a child like all of those things I feel like maybe forgiveness around, but I never quite reconciled that it made me feel bad, and it made me feel like someone took advantage of my body so it made my body feel out of my control so it made me feel in my skin uncomfortable and even just looking at it as an outsider mentally during those times because I felt so about it. I am still disgusted That that happened like I look, I look back and feel so uncomfortable by it that I was disassociating during it and probably seeing it as discussed at the time and I guess I pointed that on myself even though I don’t as a kid that is pretty complex like I don’t even know how I did that I was so young to be entered into concerning what occurred betrayal I don’t know maybe like I don’t know if this is the same as what you were alluding to, but like the loneliness in it because yeah, performance perfection programs because stellar managing thirst ministry performance what are we going to working anymore? Is it possible then that because we’re all broken we could be creating the same scheme like in my children today even though when we sit down to dinner, I talk to them and I encourage them to talk to us and we’re very open and we worship together and we do all of these things may be on paper that my parents didn’t do, but they could still perceive that they’re lacking something and internalize that way they are deeply thirsty for something else we are ourselves, then we are able to see us take person that you have already plummeted. Design in my life I’m not gonna be able to I think yeah before I my brother reality.